How Your Worst Fears Can Lead to Your Biggest Triumphs

Fear and anxiety are survival mechanisms that help your body avoid danger and stay safe and alive. Fear is typically described as an unpleasant thought or emotion based on the belief that a person or a situation is dangerous and likely to cause you pain. And let’s face it: sometimes, life can be scary. There are a hundred different things that can potentially trip you up every day. However, if you let your fears snake their way into your heart, in the long run, it will negatively affect you and those around you. Self-doubt will paralyze your decisions and actions and only those who can get ahead of those fearful feelings can move forward.

I was already living on my own and struggling at the age of 18, working in the tech field by day to pay for my schooling at nights, before moving to New York from Jamaica. I had learned a lot of hard lessons early in life and as a result was bold in many ways. The Big Apple both excited me and frightened me. The culture shock was extensive and for many days I didn’t know if I would make it out alive as working and living in New York City often felt like swimming solo with sharks. The people I encountered in the tech world were very competitive and cutthroat. Some of the people I met as life hurtled on were duplicitous. It was a cold city with a lot of rude awakenings and sleepless nights. The majority of my family was scattered around the United States, so I often found myself alone, without friends or close family nearby.

I overcame my fears by being myself and not sacrificing my authenticity, while at the same time, focusing on what I did best. I built on my tech expertise, so I knew it inside and out. I just decided to be me and speak my mind no matter the consequences. As a result, I became a better person because my confidence grew and the hard lessons didn’t kill me, they bolstered me. What I lacked in shortcomings, I made up for in sincerity, smarts and a great sense of humor and open mindedness. I was able to help other people (by being fearless despite my fears) and at the end of the day, I did not only survive in a new country…I thrived.

So, is it possible to overcome the sweaty palms and let go of fear’s firm grip on you? Absolutely, and here are some steps you can take to embrace your fears and move forward.

Name your fears

The first step is to make fear your friend: name it. Befriending fear transforms it from controlling and negative into an entirely new, positive context. Thunder may cause you to shiver with fear, or it can be embraced as a simple warning of the storm to come; nature’s way of preparing you for what’s ahead.

This too, shall pass

We will all face difficult environments and challenging circumstances in our lives. However, instead of focusing on life’s difficulties, concentrate on how amazingly lucky you are to have the opportunity to live in the here and now! Live in the moment, or risk dying without having lived life to the fullest.

Without endings there would be no beginnings

Death is never a pleasant topic, but it is a common fear that strikes us to the core. Death isn’t the only ending we humans fear; we dislike the breakup of a relationship or platonic friendship; the end of a marriage (even if it wasn’t working out); the loss of a job; the move from an old neighborhood to a new territory; and the jump from a 9-to-5 job to becoming your own boss. These endings, each in their own way, offer new beginnings.

Imagine the possibilities

You can never be completely prepared for the unknown. Some level of fear is a rational response. Stay alert, because vigilance carries ample rewards. Refuse to become complacent or still, and always work on growing and improving yourself. Imagine the possibility of the unknown being a positive surprise or a neutral-yet-unforeseen opportunity.

Tell certainty to take a hike

When you tell certainty to take a hike, you end up spending less energy concocting imaginary disasters. You waste less time preparing for eventualities that may never happen, and you reduce your stress by lowering your expectations for all events to be prearranged and perfect.

 Trust yourself

Trusting yourself comes with a great deal of responsibility. As a result, many embrace fear instead of believing in themselves. Every human mind has potential. None of us excels in every way, but none of us falls short in every way, either. The key is to find your talents and abilities and use them to the best of your ability.

Stay focused

Learn to reign in a mind that over-questions and overanalyzes. Re-direct your thoughts and mental projections, and focus them instead on beneficial, actionable pursuits. Your mind is a tool that you use, and if you sharpen it and stretch it, you’ll develop its muscles. It will no longer be a source of distraction, but a conditioned and well-tuned muscle that becomes your ally.

Don’t be trapped in the past

If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not learning. The sign of an evolved mind is to learn lessons from past experiences without becoming ensnared by them. View your past as a source of knowledge and growth, not a place to flee the present, or worse, a place you cannot escape from.

Live in the present

Having hopes and goals are great, but setting mental expectations only limits your thinking and sets off worrying about possible loss. Live in the present by responding to life’s events as they happen. After all, if you expect nothing, there is nothing to fear losing.

The key to embracing your fear and moving forward in life is to analyze and consider each fear as it comes up. Ask yourself if your fears are protecting you or limiting you. If fear has over run your life and you find yourself afraid to make decisions or take chances, then you need to reconsider how fear is serving you.

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Kaylaa T. Blackwell is an IT Professional working @ Itron, Inc. and a student @ Southern New Hampshire University with a penchant for writing, researching and helping others resolve real world issues. She has a great interest in technology, business and psychology and how they impact each other. The views and opinions expressed in this article belongs to Kaylaa and do not represent the opinions of her employer. Learn more about her here.

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